It is hard to put into words the emotions that go along with being heavy, losing weight, etc. And for people who have never been obese it probably seems impossible to them to comprehend how someone "like me" can be heavy. I'm smart. I know a lot about nutrition. I understand how to lose weight. So, many people probably wonder, why be so heavy? Why let yourself get into the obese category? I'm not totally sure, but I'm doing a lot of reflecting.
1. It's EASY to get heavy. It takes thought and work to stay healthy. "Bad" foods are cheaper and easier for the most part. If you go into an Aldi, most of what's there is processed crap with no nutritional value, and it's super cheap... NOW anyway. In the long run, it's more expensive in the way of bigger clothes, medications needed for weight related problems, and early health trouble. You can drive through Jack in the Box for example, and get 2 tacos for a dollar. CHEAP! It doesn't take much thought to eat willy-nilly and have whatever you want when you want it.
2. When you get really heavy, you think that is who you are and who you always will be. I know it's nuts but I basically accepted my status as a "fat chick" and when I would get down about it, well, why not eat something... which makes it keep going... vicious circle.
3. When you are heavy you feel worthless. Its sad to say but as a "fat chick" I can tell that people look me up and down and make a judgement. Even some family members which hurts the most. Most are just ultra supportive but sometimes I can FEEL the eyes and the nasty thoughts. You feel like you are worth nothing because you are fat, so why bother working on it? You figure no one cares much because you are just a "fat person" and have little value. I actually remember thinking I would always be fat so why bother trying to change things. What's the point if I'm just going to get fat again and disappoint everyone anyway.
4. When you share with people you love and care about that you are dieting, some see that as license to harass you over every single food choice. I was counting calories and was asked many times why I was eating XYZ. I would explain I count my cals, and budgeted for it. Also, some folks seem to think diets are a pain when they go to cook for you, and you feel like it's stupid to stay on program when someone claims it's hard to feed you (this moreso with the low carb phase 1 of South Beach). I can always bring my own foods, I do NOT mind at all! But please, if you offer to cook something for me when I'm on a restrictive part of a eating plan, don't go on and on about "oh you cant have this or that" and act like it's so horrible to cook for me. Tell me to bring my own food. It makes me feel like I shouldn't bother eating right because you act like it's so hard!
5. A big one for me is my arthritis. I get down emotionally about it and there are times I just give up completely because life is so hard when one is in pain. No one can understand every day pain unless they have lived it. It takes a toll mentally and physically. I am aware of the fact I need to excercise but it's not helpful to be harassed about that when I can't walk around the house without crying. Just sayin.
Onto another post about some of the emotions I'm working through...
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