Corny title, I know.
I am 16-17 months into my new healthy living ways, and am down 61 pounds. I have not been on track that whole time, but I have been on track for most of that time. I assumed that my arthritis was more severe and that was why I had trouble moving before beginning on my healthy living journey... but I was wrong. Don't get me wrong--having RA since age 5 does mean I have a considerable amount of damage. My fingers and toes are bent (which makes finding shoes a nightmare, and also proved a challenge when looking for roller skates). My left ankle seems to be the worse weight bearing joint pain wise... my wrists are locked into position (do not flex or move much)... and when I began this journey, I could barely walk.
It is a lot for me to admit this, because by my readers doing a simple math problem you can figure out my weight. But I have a feeling there are others out there, perhaps reading this, that are at my starting weight...or maybe more or less... feeling like they could never do what I have managed to do. I began my journey at 294.8 pounds. Yes. 294.8... NOT 295!! I clung to that .8 because it meant I was NOT 295... not that 295 was that much more than 294.8.
I felt tired all of the time. I actually was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea back in 2007--and I was probably 20 pounds lighter then, maybe 30. When that diagnosis came, I thought that would be what it took to get me motivated, but it didn't last. The end of 2009 brought the biggest spiritual and emotional challenge I'd faced to date... and... I medicated and soothed myself with food. I quickly got up to 294.8 by April 2010, and I felt awful about life, about myself, about everything. I had been taking medication for depression, and it had helped A LOT... but the overwhelming feeling of failure was too much to bear.
Our old church had a "biggest loser" style contest and I signed up... but I felt defeated. My extra weight made me feel a lot of pain when trying to exercise or move much at all. The situation that had depressed me was still ongoing. Even though I was a victor because of Christ, I was believing the enemy's lies. I failed. I was fat, ugly, and worthless. Yes, I said all of those things to myself in my mind. ALL of the time. I played those words over and over like a broken record. I "wore" a cloak of guilt, depression, bondage and shame. Some was related to the situation going on with a member of my family, but a lot of it was due to how I felt and looked.
I started going to a local YMCA and exercising with a man named Joe. Joe is a retired health teacher, not sure how old he is, but he is in amazing physical shape. I honestly feel in many ways I owe my life to him. I would have died at some point from living the way I was living, and in desperation I made an appointment to see him for training help. He never once made me feel bad about myself and he always found some way to encourage me. I was 282 when I saw him in June 2010. So, I had lost 12.8 pounds from my high point between April and June 2010. Joe helped me get familiar with the gym--the cardio machines and the weight machines... and later he got me comfortable with the free weights. I began my sessions with him only able to ride the bike because of pain.
I think back to how I was doing then and I'm literally in awe of this wonderful, powerful journey I've been on. Now I can do the elliptical for 30 minutes (some days 45). It is a workout for sure, but I can do it. I could barely do 3 minutes in the summer of 2010. So, the fitness goals I have achieved may not be anything like what others have achieved, but I find myself thankful and grateful for where I have come in that amount of time.
I'm going to use the next post to be more specific about some recent triumphs :)
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