Well, the weight thing is pretty much the same. I hate that but it is what it is. I realized today I'm coming up on a year since I started losing, and I was hoping to be 52lbs down by now. I'm okay with where I am. I have maintaned pretty much a 45 lb loss over the last several months, and that is huge for me. I have not put it back on. So, that is definitely a victory worth celebrating.
I have also learned, through going back to my old ways at times, that low carb is going to be the ONLY way I can eat and lose weight and maintain long term. I hate that, because I love sugar. I'm actually contemplating trying the Weight Watchers "simply filling" core type plan. All fruits and veggies are "free" foods, and you eat other foods off of a list. You can still have "treats" you just count them out of your weekly points. Or, I may just do South Beach eating with all the fruits/veggies I want. That is probably pretty much the same style of eating but without paying for WW. LOL.
I have pretty much all of our homeschool curriculum bought. I'm glad we decided to bring her home before this next thing happened, or people would wonder if this is the only reason... I'll share briefly. My older DD came home one day from AWANA all emotional. I had the feeling that the small thing that happened at AWANA was not the problem--rather that something had happened at school. I was right. It's worth mentioning that she is most definitely her mother's daughter. We are sooo much alike. Well she told me she felt her friends were betraying her. :( Sounds dramatic, but it was somewhat true. A girl was bullying her on the playground and making her give up her swing even if she had just got on it. One of her close friends is now playing with the bully, so she feels abandoned. She has found several really nice girls to play with now, and the teacher has been contacted (all my ideas of how to respond to the bully were not stopping things, and I REFUSE to allow my children to be the victim of bullying). So far so good, and the one close friend has talked to her some again, so this is good.
My husband was out of town this past weekend and my older DD and I stayed up until 11:30pm just chatting. She knows now she is going to be homeschooled for 3rd grade, and she is VERY happy. She was telling me public school was not for her. I explained to her that every family needs to do what they feel God wants them to do for their kids and what they feel is right themselves as well. I told her some kids do public, private and home school. Some do two of those. Some do one all the way through. That parents decide what works best and go with it. Just because we don't feel public is working for her doesn't mean it is "bad" or not a good choice. I told her she may end up there again in high school for all I know right now. She said something then that made me want to cry--for many reasons. "Mom, I don't know why, but a lot of the kids seem unhappy, angry and mean." Oh that broke my heart. My daughter is very emotional, sensitive and empathetic. That's just her nature. "Mom, why are the kids like that?"
That is the million dollar question. I'm sure most parents care and do what is right. Kids are kids and mine are FAR from perfect. But some don't have a great life at home, and some may not have one of their parents around all the time. Now, let me say if you are a single parent, I'm not saying your kid will not fare well. If you care and are deeply involved, that makes all the difference. I'm talking about parents checking out and not caring. This can happen with a one or a two parent home. I just told her that not all kids have a nice life. Some have reasons to be sad and angry. And some are just stinkers like both of my kids can be. Perhape what bothered me the most, is in her words I had a sense that school could very well change who she is as a person. The world needs more empathetic, sensitive and kind people in it... and if she learns now that those are *weaknesses*, the world may lose one kind, caring person that it really needs.
Then I come around to the "sheltering" argument that many have. "You can't save them from everything. You shouldn't shelter your kids. They need to experience life." And I think before this last year, I was buying into the belief that by homeschooling my daughter, I was keeping her from natural things she needs to experience. That if she didn't experience school her development might be somehow stunted or in some way deficient. I no longer think she needs to go to school to be "okay". She will learn about the world plenty by being at home with us, going out to run errands, getting to know people at church and other places we frequent, when she is older seeing the news and discussing it with us... but I come back to the feeling that as her parent I NEED to be protecting her and keeping her safe. When she is older, she will have the tools to battle the world but right now she's crying out to be sheltered, to be in a safe haven.
She is so worn out we barely do anything fun in the evenings--sure she plays, but, nothing like we used to. When we homeschooled, we could go see my inlaws in the evening or my parents. School has really limited our ability to be with family because the kids are simply too tired. If I had been in a better place at the beginning of the school year, she would have come back home sometime in September. She was showing signs of struggling back then. she has gotten somewhat used to things, but I can tell she's stressed and this is not for her for now.
And, among other things, the trial my side of the family has been through has taught me to seize the day, and take advantage of whatever time I'm given. To live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I may not do it all perfect, but I'm going to try hard to do what I feel is right for us.
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