with weight watchers.
Yeah. I know. Weight Watchers. It feels so cliche. I resisted it for a while, but two good friends of mine joined and they are having a lot of success. The plan has changed a lot since the last time I did it. Before, the way to make it was to eat low fat/low cal. Now the plan accounts for protein, fat, fiber and carbs. Much better, in my opinion. Also, fruits are free foods. No more trying to satiate myself with sugar free jello. I can have REAL food... good food... fruit.
First week will be done Saturday... so we'll see.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Checking in...
Well, the weight thing is pretty much the same. I hate that but it is what it is. I realized today I'm coming up on a year since I started losing, and I was hoping to be 52lbs down by now. I'm okay with where I am. I have maintaned pretty much a 45 lb loss over the last several months, and that is huge for me. I have not put it back on. So, that is definitely a victory worth celebrating.
I have also learned, through going back to my old ways at times, that low carb is going to be the ONLY way I can eat and lose weight and maintain long term. I hate that, because I love sugar. I'm actually contemplating trying the Weight Watchers "simply filling" core type plan. All fruits and veggies are "free" foods, and you eat other foods off of a list. You can still have "treats" you just count them out of your weekly points. Or, I may just do South Beach eating with all the fruits/veggies I want. That is probably pretty much the same style of eating but without paying for WW. LOL.
I have pretty much all of our homeschool curriculum bought. I'm glad we decided to bring her home before this next thing happened, or people would wonder if this is the only reason... I'll share briefly. My older DD came home one day from AWANA all emotional. I had the feeling that the small thing that happened at AWANA was not the problem--rather that something had happened at school. I was right. It's worth mentioning that she is most definitely her mother's daughter. We are sooo much alike. Well she told me she felt her friends were betraying her. :( Sounds dramatic, but it was somewhat true. A girl was bullying her on the playground and making her give up her swing even if she had just got on it. One of her close friends is now playing with the bully, so she feels abandoned. She has found several really nice girls to play with now, and the teacher has been contacted (all my ideas of how to respond to the bully were not stopping things, and I REFUSE to allow my children to be the victim of bullying). So far so good, and the one close friend has talked to her some again, so this is good.
My husband was out of town this past weekend and my older DD and I stayed up until 11:30pm just chatting. She knows now she is going to be homeschooled for 3rd grade, and she is VERY happy. She was telling me public school was not for her. I explained to her that every family needs to do what they feel God wants them to do for their kids and what they feel is right themselves as well. I told her some kids do public, private and home school. Some do two of those. Some do one all the way through. That parents decide what works best and go with it. Just because we don't feel public is working for her doesn't mean it is "bad" or not a good choice. I told her she may end up there again in high school for all I know right now. She said something then that made me want to cry--for many reasons. "Mom, I don't know why, but a lot of the kids seem unhappy, angry and mean." Oh that broke my heart. My daughter is very emotional, sensitive and empathetic. That's just her nature. "Mom, why are the kids like that?"
That is the million dollar question. I'm sure most parents care and do what is right. Kids are kids and mine are FAR from perfect. But some don't have a great life at home, and some may not have one of their parents around all the time. Now, let me say if you are a single parent, I'm not saying your kid will not fare well. If you care and are deeply involved, that makes all the difference. I'm talking about parents checking out and not caring. This can happen with a one or a two parent home. I just told her that not all kids have a nice life. Some have reasons to be sad and angry. And some are just stinkers like both of my kids can be. Perhape what bothered me the most, is in her words I had a sense that school could very well change who she is as a person. The world needs more empathetic, sensitive and kind people in it... and if she learns now that those are *weaknesses*, the world may lose one kind, caring person that it really needs.
Then I come around to the "sheltering" argument that many have. "You can't save them from everything. You shouldn't shelter your kids. They need to experience life." And I think before this last year, I was buying into the belief that by homeschooling my daughter, I was keeping her from natural things she needs to experience. That if she didn't experience school her development might be somehow stunted or in some way deficient. I no longer think she needs to go to school to be "okay". She will learn about the world plenty by being at home with us, going out to run errands, getting to know people at church and other places we frequent, when she is older seeing the news and discussing it with us... but I come back to the feeling that as her parent I NEED to be protecting her and keeping her safe. When she is older, she will have the tools to battle the world but right now she's crying out to be sheltered, to be in a safe haven.
She is so worn out we barely do anything fun in the evenings--sure she plays, but, nothing like we used to. When we homeschooled, we could go see my inlaws in the evening or my parents. School has really limited our ability to be with family because the kids are simply too tired. If I had been in a better place at the beginning of the school year, she would have come back home sometime in September. She was showing signs of struggling back then. she has gotten somewhat used to things, but I can tell she's stressed and this is not for her for now.
And, among other things, the trial my side of the family has been through has taught me to seize the day, and take advantage of whatever time I'm given. To live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I may not do it all perfect, but I'm going to try hard to do what I feel is right for us.
I have also learned, through going back to my old ways at times, that low carb is going to be the ONLY way I can eat and lose weight and maintain long term. I hate that, because I love sugar. I'm actually contemplating trying the Weight Watchers "simply filling" core type plan. All fruits and veggies are "free" foods, and you eat other foods off of a list. You can still have "treats" you just count them out of your weekly points. Or, I may just do South Beach eating with all the fruits/veggies I want. That is probably pretty much the same style of eating but without paying for WW. LOL.
I have pretty much all of our homeschool curriculum bought. I'm glad we decided to bring her home before this next thing happened, or people would wonder if this is the only reason... I'll share briefly. My older DD came home one day from AWANA all emotional. I had the feeling that the small thing that happened at AWANA was not the problem--rather that something had happened at school. I was right. It's worth mentioning that she is most definitely her mother's daughter. We are sooo much alike. Well she told me she felt her friends were betraying her. :( Sounds dramatic, but it was somewhat true. A girl was bullying her on the playground and making her give up her swing even if she had just got on it. One of her close friends is now playing with the bully, so she feels abandoned. She has found several really nice girls to play with now, and the teacher has been contacted (all my ideas of how to respond to the bully were not stopping things, and I REFUSE to allow my children to be the victim of bullying). So far so good, and the one close friend has talked to her some again, so this is good.
My husband was out of town this past weekend and my older DD and I stayed up until 11:30pm just chatting. She knows now she is going to be homeschooled for 3rd grade, and she is VERY happy. She was telling me public school was not for her. I explained to her that every family needs to do what they feel God wants them to do for their kids and what they feel is right themselves as well. I told her some kids do public, private and home school. Some do two of those. Some do one all the way through. That parents decide what works best and go with it. Just because we don't feel public is working for her doesn't mean it is "bad" or not a good choice. I told her she may end up there again in high school for all I know right now. She said something then that made me want to cry--for many reasons. "Mom, I don't know why, but a lot of the kids seem unhappy, angry and mean." Oh that broke my heart. My daughter is very emotional, sensitive and empathetic. That's just her nature. "Mom, why are the kids like that?"
That is the million dollar question. I'm sure most parents care and do what is right. Kids are kids and mine are FAR from perfect. But some don't have a great life at home, and some may not have one of their parents around all the time. Now, let me say if you are a single parent, I'm not saying your kid will not fare well. If you care and are deeply involved, that makes all the difference. I'm talking about parents checking out and not caring. This can happen with a one or a two parent home. I just told her that not all kids have a nice life. Some have reasons to be sad and angry. And some are just stinkers like both of my kids can be. Perhape what bothered me the most, is in her words I had a sense that school could very well change who she is as a person. The world needs more empathetic, sensitive and kind people in it... and if she learns now that those are *weaknesses*, the world may lose one kind, caring person that it really needs.
Then I come around to the "sheltering" argument that many have. "You can't save them from everything. You shouldn't shelter your kids. They need to experience life." And I think before this last year, I was buying into the belief that by homeschooling my daughter, I was keeping her from natural things she needs to experience. That if she didn't experience school her development might be somehow stunted or in some way deficient. I no longer think she needs to go to school to be "okay". She will learn about the world plenty by being at home with us, going out to run errands, getting to know people at church and other places we frequent, when she is older seeing the news and discussing it with us... but I come back to the feeling that as her parent I NEED to be protecting her and keeping her safe. When she is older, she will have the tools to battle the world but right now she's crying out to be sheltered, to be in a safe haven.
She is so worn out we barely do anything fun in the evenings--sure she plays, but, nothing like we used to. When we homeschooled, we could go see my inlaws in the evening or my parents. School has really limited our ability to be with family because the kids are simply too tired. If I had been in a better place at the beginning of the school year, she would have come back home sometime in September. She was showing signs of struggling back then. she has gotten somewhat used to things, but I can tell she's stressed and this is not for her for now.
And, among other things, the trial my side of the family has been through has taught me to seize the day, and take advantage of whatever time I'm given. To live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I may not do it all perfect, but I'm going to try hard to do what I feel is right for us.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A time for balance, a return to seeking spiritual and physical health... that sounds dramatic... LOL
I have recently gone back on low carb and am now down a total of 47.8 pounds. A lot has been going on since I posted last in December 2010.
A hard trial in my family has somewhat come to a point of closure. Things I had let go of are again on my mind. One being weight loss, healthy eating, etc. Another is homeschooling. I have realized this year has been a time in my life for intensive Bible reading and spiritual growth, yet the thought that my kids have been fed so little spiritually weighs heavy on my mind and soul. I am praying God helps me find a balance between teaching them well, and caring for myself well. The key will come in waking early to spend time with Him, and making it to the gym in the evenings with my husband 3-4 times a week. Also in meal planning and purposeful shopping. I will be home more, believe it or not... and LESS busy in some ways. We rush around way more now that we used to, honestly. I long for a slower life again, a purposeful life. Some folks may read this and think I'm nuts. This year "off" from homeschooling has been good--emotionally and mentally, well, spiritually too... I was battered and broken. I needed this time to refocus and see what is truly important in my life. I love the schools my girls are in, and may leave the little one where she is for another year of pre-k, but with 29 second graders my older daughter is becoming lost in her class. She's keeping up for now, but I don't like the thought that she's lagging behind with her pace, and struggling to stay on task. She is a bit pokey by nature, but I wonder how long until a teacher asks me to medicate her to help her focus. I believe it's a "too many kids in the classroom" problem and not an ADHD problem for her. She has actually ASKED to come back home. I informed her she would still be getting up early, and she would still have to work. She says she doesn't care. I think she misses the slower life too.
I see the important things in my life ocming into focus and I know all too quickly the days will turn into years... and I see clearly how to organize my life to make homeschooling more successful. My life has lacked structure and discipline and I don't pretend to think I have it all sorted out, but I'm on a journey to balance my health and wellness with my children's spiritual health and wellness. And my older daughter is so tired all of the time. She's running too much, and with running one misses what is truly valuable in life. So, I do love her school, but I see a better way for our family.
This leads me to another thing, the realization I spend far too much time on Facebook and too little time in other more important pursuits. I have felt led for a while to "take a break" and as Lent draws nearer, I feel like God is saying to set Facebook aside and use the time to seek Him. I will post here periodically, as I'm still on the journey of weight loss and on a journey to attain spiritual health and balance... but I plan to forego Facebook for the Lenten season, and use the time more effectively.
So, if you've read this, I don't broadcast this to say this is what you need to do... and Facebook is not inherently evil or bad. I feel like I need balance back in my life, and this feels like the way to do it. I don't share this to get glory from "man" but to let anyone know who may follow this, where I'm going to be--reachable by email--until Easter.
A hard trial in my family has somewhat come to a point of closure. Things I had let go of are again on my mind. One being weight loss, healthy eating, etc. Another is homeschooling. I have realized this year has been a time in my life for intensive Bible reading and spiritual growth, yet the thought that my kids have been fed so little spiritually weighs heavy on my mind and soul. I am praying God helps me find a balance between teaching them well, and caring for myself well. The key will come in waking early to spend time with Him, and making it to the gym in the evenings with my husband 3-4 times a week. Also in meal planning and purposeful shopping. I will be home more, believe it or not... and LESS busy in some ways. We rush around way more now that we used to, honestly. I long for a slower life again, a purposeful life. Some folks may read this and think I'm nuts. This year "off" from homeschooling has been good--emotionally and mentally, well, spiritually too... I was battered and broken. I needed this time to refocus and see what is truly important in my life. I love the schools my girls are in, and may leave the little one where she is for another year of pre-k, but with 29 second graders my older daughter is becoming lost in her class. She's keeping up for now, but I don't like the thought that she's lagging behind with her pace, and struggling to stay on task. She is a bit pokey by nature, but I wonder how long until a teacher asks me to medicate her to help her focus. I believe it's a "too many kids in the classroom" problem and not an ADHD problem for her. She has actually ASKED to come back home. I informed her she would still be getting up early, and she would still have to work. She says she doesn't care. I think she misses the slower life too.
I see the important things in my life ocming into focus and I know all too quickly the days will turn into years... and I see clearly how to organize my life to make homeschooling more successful. My life has lacked structure and discipline and I don't pretend to think I have it all sorted out, but I'm on a journey to balance my health and wellness with my children's spiritual health and wellness. And my older daughter is so tired all of the time. She's running too much, and with running one misses what is truly valuable in life. So, I do love her school, but I see a better way for our family.
This leads me to another thing, the realization I spend far too much time on Facebook and too little time in other more important pursuits. I have felt led for a while to "take a break" and as Lent draws nearer, I feel like God is saying to set Facebook aside and use the time to seek Him. I will post here periodically, as I'm still on the journey of weight loss and on a journey to attain spiritual health and balance... but I plan to forego Facebook for the Lenten season, and use the time more effectively.
So, if you've read this, I don't broadcast this to say this is what you need to do... and Facebook is not inherently evil or bad. I feel like I need balance back in my life, and this feels like the way to do it. I don't share this to get glory from "man" but to let anyone know who may follow this, where I'm going to be--reachable by email--until Easter.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Confession time...
I've gained back 3 pounds. So, I'm at 37.8 off now. I'm sad about it. I got depressed and turned to food which is NOT going to help. I watched Biggest Loser last night and seeing bow much Ada has worked through has inspired me to keep going. I don't want to be as big as I was, and I don't want to be as big as I am now long term. I need to lose about 77 pounds to be at the upper end of a good weight for my frame so it's time to stop wallowing and medicating with food. I have a long way to go, but I have already come pretty far. All I know is if I do what I have always done I'm going to get what I've always gotten... which is gaining more weight and being more unhappy.
I've been wallowing in my bad feelings about a situation in my family and that has contributed to my diet downfall as well. I read chapter 9 in So Long Insecurity (Beth Moore book) and worked through a LOT of STUFF. Chapter 9 is a long prayer where you are guided through laying your fears and insecurities down at the foot of the cross and reclaiming your dignity as a woman of God. I had a long hard cry as God revealed to me areas where I don't feel "good enough" and how I punish myself by sabotaging myself... or medicate my bad feelings with food. Christ died so I can be free... not only free from sin, death, and hell... but free from fear, insecurity and bondages of any sort. I have to put off the "old man" and clothe myself in dignity (Proverbs 31).
I also worked through Daniel chapter 1 for my ladies Bible study and the Babylon "motto" has really gotten to me. "I am, and there is no one besides me." This not only was the thought of that time, but it's the thought now too... and I can apply it to my family member who has caused so many pain, but I also need to point the finger at ME. Eating out of control and not treating myself well is saying, "I am and there is no one besides me." I'm basically forgetting my friends and family who would be deeply impacted should my health spiral downward as a result of my rebellion and neglect. I have to remember I'm not alone in this and my choices will affect my husband and my girls. Also others.
So, back at the calorie counting, the Y workouts and on off Y days, the Jillian video.. then the Bob ones once I feel ready for him. He's a beast! LOL!
I've been wallowing in my bad feelings about a situation in my family and that has contributed to my diet downfall as well. I read chapter 9 in So Long Insecurity (Beth Moore book) and worked through a LOT of STUFF. Chapter 9 is a long prayer where you are guided through laying your fears and insecurities down at the foot of the cross and reclaiming your dignity as a woman of God. I had a long hard cry as God revealed to me areas where I don't feel "good enough" and how I punish myself by sabotaging myself... or medicate my bad feelings with food. Christ died so I can be free... not only free from sin, death, and hell... but free from fear, insecurity and bondages of any sort. I have to put off the "old man" and clothe myself in dignity (Proverbs 31).
I also worked through Daniel chapter 1 for my ladies Bible study and the Babylon "motto" has really gotten to me. "I am, and there is no one besides me." This not only was the thought of that time, but it's the thought now too... and I can apply it to my family member who has caused so many pain, but I also need to point the finger at ME. Eating out of control and not treating myself well is saying, "I am and there is no one besides me." I'm basically forgetting my friends and family who would be deeply impacted should my health spiral downward as a result of my rebellion and neglect. I have to remember I'm not alone in this and my choices will affect my husband and my girls. Also others.
So, back at the calorie counting, the Y workouts and on off Y days, the Jillian video.. then the Bob ones once I feel ready for him. He's a beast! LOL!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Where am I now?
Well, I've slacked... but here is an update.
I've lost 40.8 pounds total. For some reason I'm sabotaging myself right now. I am not gaining but I am not losing. I really believe for me the answer is LOW to NO carbs. When I start letting myself have some carbs, a little becomes a lot before I know it.
I know though, that carbs, desserts, etc are a part of life so I need to learn moderation. I am nowhere near where I used to be, but I know myself and I can get back there in a hurry if I'm not careful. So it's time to go back on phase 1 of SBD and deal with these cravings.
This means no dinner at church Wed because they are having spaghetti AND garlic bread... :( I may need to wait a few days so the mexican lasagna in my fridge doesn't go to waste, or ONLY allow myself to eat that and then when it's gone just no more carbs. But I will get back on this.
I've lost 40.8 pounds total. For some reason I'm sabotaging myself right now. I am not gaining but I am not losing. I really believe for me the answer is LOW to NO carbs. When I start letting myself have some carbs, a little becomes a lot before I know it.
I know though, that carbs, desserts, etc are a part of life so I need to learn moderation. I am nowhere near where I used to be, but I know myself and I can get back there in a hurry if I'm not careful. So it's time to go back on phase 1 of SBD and deal with these cravings.
This means no dinner at church Wed because they are having spaghetti AND garlic bread... :( I may need to wait a few days so the mexican lasagna in my fridge doesn't go to waste, or ONLY allow myself to eat that and then when it's gone just no more carbs. But I will get back on this.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
If you follow me...
you know I've slacked off. I'm really not discouraged, but just haven't been able to work out much. Last week I was getting really snotty and feeling run down... and my rheumatologist ordered me to not work out if I was sick or run down. I'm on immune system suppressing drugs so I listen to her about these things. Also, Friday I was feeling better, but had Gabby's party so a workout that day just didn't happen. Going for sure Mon, Tues, and Thurs... maybe even Sat... Hubby has army reserves so I'll have to get the girls out before noon... around 10:30-11:00 so I can get a good workout in.
Time for bed... up too late tonight. Weigh in tomorrow. I hit 37lbs last week. We ate out last night for my husband's birthday so I fully expect to gain this week. Back on program again tomorrow...
Time for bed... up too late tonight. Weigh in tomorrow. I hit 37lbs last week. We ate out last night for my husband's birthday so I fully expect to gain this week. Back on program again tomorrow...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
36.6 pounds down since April 11, 2010
I couldn't be happier. This is the longest in a LONG while that I've stuck to a diet and exercise regimen. Oops, not DIET, healthy eating. I do have "bad stuff" but not every day, and not NEAR as often as in the past. It's a TREAT now, as it should be.
My goal is to be down 50lbs at or before 12/31/10. This means I have to lose like 1.5lbs a week (I think). I think it is doable. :)
My goal is to be down 50lbs at or before 12/31/10. This means I have to lose like 1.5lbs a week (I think). I think it is doable. :)
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