I kinda, okay well, I did fall off the wagon. I gained about 6 pounds since the last post where I was down 72.8 pounds (I think). We went on a Disney trip... which was amazing... I was able to walk a lot more before being in pain than in a long time... (but I did have a lot more foot pain, more on that later). Thanksgiving, Christmas, the anniversary of a difficult time for my side of the family... all combined to get me off track.
In December, I saw an orthopedic surgeon about my bunions, hammertoes and midfoot pain on the advice of my rheumatologist. My foot pain is the only pain that has dramatically increased since losing weight. I decided after leaving to do the surgery, but to try the foot orthodics. For a couple days, the custom orthodics helped, but over time, had pain elsewhere. My midfoot was hurting on top when it hadn't before, but felt better on bottom. My bunion wasn't hurting, but my pinky toe would hurt, or go numb. Both hurting and numb are bad!
So, I went back to my rheumy doctor and she said she had seen the surgeon's notes and asked when my surgery was going to take place, which foot first, etc. I said the orthodics had helped some and I might just wait. She sat down and looked me square in the eye, "Leighann, if I had your hands and I had your feet... I would totally do the foot surgery without hesitation, but I would NOT yet have hand surgery." "Really, Dr. Shuman?"
"Absolutely," she continued. "The pain relief you will get from the procedure will amaze you. You will find the recovery is worth the trouble when you put weight on your foot, have little to no pain, and see your straight toes."
So, last week I saw the surgeon. We've decided to proceed with surgery on May 21st (pending my husband getting the week off... and I may do it regardless and have him take another week since my awesome mom will be off to help me). We decided since my left foot hurts more we'd do that one first. I can't bear weight for 6 weeks, so now begins the push to exercise regularly and lose as much weight as I can before surgery. I have less than 3 months.
Unfortunately, my younger daughter needs to be careful until she's cleared for regular activity, so I'm not going to work out if it means putting her in childcare until she's cleared in a few days. But when I can before then, I'll work out as my husband's schedule allows him to keep the kids. I must get in as good of shape as possible.
The good thing is we joined a gym with a pool, and the surgeon said at the 6 week mark I'll move to a boot and I should be able to walk in the pool. YAY!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, November 4, 2011
Some thoughts on how to succeed at weight loss...
I get asked a lot for advice on losing weight. Even though I'm 72.8 pounds down sometimes I still wonder why people would ask ME for help??! It's very odd, as I'm shrinking in body, I sometimes still don't feel as successful as I truly am in this weight loss process I'm in the middle of...
I have been dieting ALL of my life practically, battling my addiction to food against my desire to be at a healthy weight for my height and build... and failing over and over. What's different this time? I'm going to try and answer that.
1. I was very vocal about my plan to lose weight from the beginning. I am sure I drove people on Facebook insane with all my posting about it, but it helped me stay accountable.
2. I met a friend who's lost almost exactly the amount I need to lose and I've been updating her, picking her brain, etc. She's been an invaluable resource!! (thanks Janelle!!)
3. I have wonderful friends and family who support me 100%. My husband has been amazing--making sure I get time at the gym and going along with the changes. I'm blessed because many people have a spouse who will not do it with them so its a million times harder!!
4. I move more. Most people know I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes it hard to move sometimes. When I was at my heaviest I would still go to the gym and ride the bike. I hated it, but it burned calories and helped me move more. Once I could tolerate it, I switched to the elliptical because it was low impact and burned more calories. I have days where I don't want to move, or don't want to work out. I always go anyway, unless I'm SURE moving will make me feel WORSE. I've learned along the way that a lot of the time moving WILL make me feel better.
5. I've decided that even though I'm on a much lower fitness level than a lot of folks I will still do what I can and be proud of it!! I used to beat myself up over "only being able to ride the bike" but truth be told, I'm doing WAY more than folks on the couch! no offense, but I had to realize anything I could do was better than nothing!! I do get down when I see friends progressing so well on their fitness journeys but I have to remember I have limitations... I CAN do many things, but not ALL.
6. Track, track, track. Whether you use SparkPeople.com, Weight Watchers, or My Fitness Pal, TRACK YOUR FOOD!! This is the only way to truly know what is going into your body. I have often been SHOCKED at how many points/calories were in things I assumed were healthy, or low cal!!
7. Realize that you're going to have to deny self. Much like the Christian walk where we must lay self and our sinful desires down, we have to also do this with food. Last night I wanted some ice cream REALLY REALLY BAD!!! I knew I did not have the points, and also that today was weigh day. I reminded myself that I'd get more points today, and could have an ice cream today... so I was able to keep my wants in check knowing that I COULD do it, just not NOW.
8. I finally realized if I'm going to beat food addiction, or manage it.... God HAS to be included in my efforts. When I was 72.8 pounds heavier, I was so depressed, down... I just figured I'd never get here but I prayed... GOD help me. I can NOT do this on my own. I've prayed many times since then. Sometimes I fail, most of the time I succeed. But God has been there with me, leading and guiding me.
9. I see my boundaries not as a thing where I'm trapped and confined, but rather... "I can eat this much. I can have x amount of points in treats per week." Instead of "I only get this. I can't have this or that because of this dumb diet." I use a lot of positive self-talk... "This food is not beneficial for me... but I CAN have XYZ instead."
10. Tell the food pushers NO. You are NOT being rude if you turn down food at a gathering. I have been bringing my own fruit with me places (0 points on WW). I feel badly in Sunday school at times not eating the wonderful snacks, but I tell myself that staying on track and on target is worth more than whatever snacks are there. I DO indulge plenty, believe me! But Sunday school is one time that I know I better not because we often eat out on Sundays or eat at my parents' house and I am pretty sure I'll end up with dessert at their place... or a higher point lunch if we eat out. There are trade-offs. At other get -togethers, I just simply won't eat certain things. I stopped letting comments like "hey help me eat this, because I don't want to take it home" bother me. I tell myself, "I don't want to take it home EITHER... and it will go home on my backside!!"
I'm sure there's more... I just thought I'd throw some thoughts out there. If I can help anyone in any way, let me know!! If I can do it with the RA and movement limitations, YOU CAN TOO!!!
another one!
11. Celebrate EVERY victory!!! Did you make it through a buffet without going bonkers? Celebrate it!!! Did you lose 1 pound!? Celebrate!! Did you NOT gain or vacation? Celebrate that too!! Do not reward with food... one time I bought workout clothes, another time I bought myself a heart rate monitor foy the gym... I've bought iTunes music as a little reward... Just celebrate... and when you can do something you couldn't do before when heavier... celebrate that!!! Rejoice in all victories big and small!!!
I have been dieting ALL of my life practically, battling my addiction to food against my desire to be at a healthy weight for my height and build... and failing over and over. What's different this time? I'm going to try and answer that.
1. I was very vocal about my plan to lose weight from the beginning. I am sure I drove people on Facebook insane with all my posting about it, but it helped me stay accountable.
2. I met a friend who's lost almost exactly the amount I need to lose and I've been updating her, picking her brain, etc. She's been an invaluable resource!! (thanks Janelle!!)
3. I have wonderful friends and family who support me 100%. My husband has been amazing--making sure I get time at the gym and going along with the changes. I'm blessed because many people have a spouse who will not do it with them so its a million times harder!!
4. I move more. Most people know I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes it hard to move sometimes. When I was at my heaviest I would still go to the gym and ride the bike. I hated it, but it burned calories and helped me move more. Once I could tolerate it, I switched to the elliptical because it was low impact and burned more calories. I have days where I don't want to move, or don't want to work out. I always go anyway, unless I'm SURE moving will make me feel WORSE. I've learned along the way that a lot of the time moving WILL make me feel better.
5. I've decided that even though I'm on a much lower fitness level than a lot of folks I will still do what I can and be proud of it!! I used to beat myself up over "only being able to ride the bike" but truth be told, I'm doing WAY more than folks on the couch! no offense, but I had to realize anything I could do was better than nothing!! I do get down when I see friends progressing so well on their fitness journeys but I have to remember I have limitations... I CAN do many things, but not ALL.
6. Track, track, track. Whether you use SparkPeople.com, Weight Watchers, or My Fitness Pal, TRACK YOUR FOOD!! This is the only way to truly know what is going into your body. I have often been SHOCKED at how many points/calories were in things I assumed were healthy, or low cal!!
7. Realize that you're going to have to deny self. Much like the Christian walk where we must lay self and our sinful desires down, we have to also do this with food. Last night I wanted some ice cream REALLY REALLY BAD!!! I knew I did not have the points, and also that today was weigh day. I reminded myself that I'd get more points today, and could have an ice cream today... so I was able to keep my wants in check knowing that I COULD do it, just not NOW.
8. I finally realized if I'm going to beat food addiction, or manage it.... God HAS to be included in my efforts. When I was 72.8 pounds heavier, I was so depressed, down... I just figured I'd never get here but I prayed... GOD help me. I can NOT do this on my own. I've prayed many times since then. Sometimes I fail, most of the time I succeed. But God has been there with me, leading and guiding me.
9. I see my boundaries not as a thing where I'm trapped and confined, but rather... "I can eat this much. I can have x amount of points in treats per week." Instead of "I only get this. I can't have this or that because of this dumb diet." I use a lot of positive self-talk... "This food is not beneficial for me... but I CAN have XYZ instead."
10. Tell the food pushers NO. You are NOT being rude if you turn down food at a gathering. I have been bringing my own fruit with me places (0 points on WW). I feel badly in Sunday school at times not eating the wonderful snacks, but I tell myself that staying on track and on target is worth more than whatever snacks are there. I DO indulge plenty, believe me! But Sunday school is one time that I know I better not because we often eat out on Sundays or eat at my parents' house and I am pretty sure I'll end up with dessert at their place... or a higher point lunch if we eat out. There are trade-offs. At other get -togethers, I just simply won't eat certain things. I stopped letting comments like "hey help me eat this, because I don't want to take it home" bother me. I tell myself, "I don't want to take it home EITHER... and it will go home on my backside!!"
I'm sure there's more... I just thought I'd throw some thoughts out there. If I can help anyone in any way, let me know!! If I can do it with the RA and movement limitations, YOU CAN TOO!!!
another one!
11. Celebrate EVERY victory!!! Did you make it through a buffet without going bonkers? Celebrate it!!! Did you lose 1 pound!? Celebrate!! Did you NOT gain or vacation? Celebrate that too!! Do not reward with food... one time I bought workout clothes, another time I bought myself a heart rate monitor foy the gym... I've bought iTunes music as a little reward... Just celebrate... and when you can do something you couldn't do before when heavier... celebrate that!!! Rejoice in all victories big and small!!!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
I feel like a kid again...
I feel young. Young and alive.
Okay, that sounds majorly corny. However, when I went skating for the first time with my girls, this is exactly the thought that went through my mind. I've had arthritis since age 5 and there are some activities, as I've gotten older and accumulated more joint damage... and weight... that I just had not tried.
I have such good memories of skating in Granite City at Stopkotte's. I skated on quads then and we would skate and skate and skate. Our church went so they played Christian music. There was limbo, and hokey pokey as well as reverse skating... couples skate (YUK, cooties!). I loved it as a kid, but as I grew into an adult, and then packed on weight, I figured skating was not an option for me anymore.
My kids went to a skating party at the Edwardsville YMCA back in July. I did not skate then because my youngest daughter was a handful. She was terrified and crying. Screaming. Once I got her into some slower skates she was fine, but the party was nearly over. So, the next week, I got the wild idea to take them to the open skate from 1-4 pm they had during the summer. I told a few friends that I may be calling if I need medical assistance, and we left for the rink. I had the thought of ... my husband is gone right now, and if I break my leg it's going to be really hard to care for the kids by myself!! LOL!!
I put the skates on, and started off. A couple day camp teachers said they were impressed I was trying. I guess a mid thirties mom on skates was kind of an unusual sight for them?! I inched my way to the rink and a couple helpful kids said, "are you sure you can handle this?" I asked one if they knew what number to call to get medical help. "Um, 911." I laughed and said, don't forget that, ok? ;)
So, I made my way around the rink, hanging out by the wall. I was surprised at how well I was doing, because I hadn't done this in a while! I guess losing that much weight makes a lot of things more possible! I was going along really well... for a while.
I got really confident, and ended up falling on my bottom. A couple little girls zoomed over and asked if I was sure I was okay... I said yes over and over but they didn't look convinced. I really was fine, and replied, "don't worry, I fell on my butt, and it's padded." They laughed and one said in a serious tone, "they have ice packs if you need one for your butt!!" HAHAHA!! I declined.
We skated a while, and I sat down to enter my activity points for Weight Watchers. 8 points for a half hour! Awesome!! My oldest daughter told me she was proud of me. I kept telling the kids, I love skating! I love skating! I felt so good about being able to do it!!
We got a membership so we could skate at the free member skate times for free and have gone once or twice a week since my first try. I'm trying to get my husband "rolling" so we have a new fun physical activity to do together as a family. My girls love going, and my 4yo has gained the confidence to skate on inlines, yeah! I love that this is something physical I can do that doesn't hurt me (save a fall here and there). I'm so thankful I lost the weight and I can do so much more now with the kids!
Okay, that sounds majorly corny. However, when I went skating for the first time with my girls, this is exactly the thought that went through my mind. I've had arthritis since age 5 and there are some activities, as I've gotten older and accumulated more joint damage... and weight... that I just had not tried.
I have such good memories of skating in Granite City at Stopkotte's. I skated on quads then and we would skate and skate and skate. Our church went so they played Christian music. There was limbo, and hokey pokey as well as reverse skating... couples skate (YUK, cooties!). I loved it as a kid, but as I grew into an adult, and then packed on weight, I figured skating was not an option for me anymore.
My kids went to a skating party at the Edwardsville YMCA back in July. I did not skate then because my youngest daughter was a handful. She was terrified and crying. Screaming. Once I got her into some slower skates she was fine, but the party was nearly over. So, the next week, I got the wild idea to take them to the open skate from 1-4 pm they had during the summer. I told a few friends that I may be calling if I need medical assistance, and we left for the rink. I had the thought of ... my husband is gone right now, and if I break my leg it's going to be really hard to care for the kids by myself!! LOL!!
I put the skates on, and started off. A couple day camp teachers said they were impressed I was trying. I guess a mid thirties mom on skates was kind of an unusual sight for them?! I inched my way to the rink and a couple helpful kids said, "are you sure you can handle this?" I asked one if they knew what number to call to get medical help. "Um, 911." I laughed and said, don't forget that, ok? ;)
So, I made my way around the rink, hanging out by the wall. I was surprised at how well I was doing, because I hadn't done this in a while! I guess losing that much weight makes a lot of things more possible! I was going along really well... for a while.
I got really confident, and ended up falling on my bottom. A couple little girls zoomed over and asked if I was sure I was okay... I said yes over and over but they didn't look convinced. I really was fine, and replied, "don't worry, I fell on my butt, and it's padded." They laughed and one said in a serious tone, "they have ice packs if you need one for your butt!!" HAHAHA!! I declined.
We skated a while, and I sat down to enter my activity points for Weight Watchers. 8 points for a half hour! Awesome!! My oldest daughter told me she was proud of me. I kept telling the kids, I love skating! I love skating! I felt so good about being able to do it!!
We got a membership so we could skate at the free member skate times for free and have gone once or twice a week since my first try. I'm trying to get my husband "rolling" so we have a new fun physical activity to do together as a family. My girls love going, and my 4yo has gained the confidence to skate on inlines, yeah! I love that this is something physical I can do that doesn't hurt me (save a fall here and there). I'm so thankful I lost the weight and I can do so much more now with the kids!
Where I've been in the last 16-17 months...
Corny title, I know.
I am 16-17 months into my new healthy living ways, and am down 61 pounds. I have not been on track that whole time, but I have been on track for most of that time. I assumed that my arthritis was more severe and that was why I had trouble moving before beginning on my healthy living journey... but I was wrong. Don't get me wrong--having RA since age 5 does mean I have a considerable amount of damage. My fingers and toes are bent (which makes finding shoes a nightmare, and also proved a challenge when looking for roller skates). My left ankle seems to be the worse weight bearing joint pain wise... my wrists are locked into position (do not flex or move much)... and when I began this journey, I could barely walk.
It is a lot for me to admit this, because by my readers doing a simple math problem you can figure out my weight. But I have a feeling there are others out there, perhaps reading this, that are at my starting weight...or maybe more or less... feeling like they could never do what I have managed to do. I began my journey at 294.8 pounds. Yes. 294.8... NOT 295!! I clung to that .8 because it meant I was NOT 295... not that 295 was that much more than 294.8.
I felt tired all of the time. I actually was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea back in 2007--and I was probably 20 pounds lighter then, maybe 30. When that diagnosis came, I thought that would be what it took to get me motivated, but it didn't last. The end of 2009 brought the biggest spiritual and emotional challenge I'd faced to date... and... I medicated and soothed myself with food. I quickly got up to 294.8 by April 2010, and I felt awful about life, about myself, about everything. I had been taking medication for depression, and it had helped A LOT... but the overwhelming feeling of failure was too much to bear.
Our old church had a "biggest loser" style contest and I signed up... but I felt defeated. My extra weight made me feel a lot of pain when trying to exercise or move much at all. The situation that had depressed me was still ongoing. Even though I was a victor because of Christ, I was believing the enemy's lies. I failed. I was fat, ugly, and worthless. Yes, I said all of those things to myself in my mind. ALL of the time. I played those words over and over like a broken record. I "wore" a cloak of guilt, depression, bondage and shame. Some was related to the situation going on with a member of my family, but a lot of it was due to how I felt and looked.
I started going to a local YMCA and exercising with a man named Joe. Joe is a retired health teacher, not sure how old he is, but he is in amazing physical shape. I honestly feel in many ways I owe my life to him. I would have died at some point from living the way I was living, and in desperation I made an appointment to see him for training help. He never once made me feel bad about myself and he always found some way to encourage me. I was 282 when I saw him in June 2010. So, I had lost 12.8 pounds from my high point between April and June 2010. Joe helped me get familiar with the gym--the cardio machines and the weight machines... and later he got me comfortable with the free weights. I began my sessions with him only able to ride the bike because of pain.
I think back to how I was doing then and I'm literally in awe of this wonderful, powerful journey I've been on. Now I can do the elliptical for 30 minutes (some days 45). It is a workout for sure, but I can do it. I could barely do 3 minutes in the summer of 2010. So, the fitness goals I have achieved may not be anything like what others have achieved, but I find myself thankful and grateful for where I have come in that amount of time.
I'm going to use the next post to be more specific about some recent triumphs :)
I am 16-17 months into my new healthy living ways, and am down 61 pounds. I have not been on track that whole time, but I have been on track for most of that time. I assumed that my arthritis was more severe and that was why I had trouble moving before beginning on my healthy living journey... but I was wrong. Don't get me wrong--having RA since age 5 does mean I have a considerable amount of damage. My fingers and toes are bent (which makes finding shoes a nightmare, and also proved a challenge when looking for roller skates). My left ankle seems to be the worse weight bearing joint pain wise... my wrists are locked into position (do not flex or move much)... and when I began this journey, I could barely walk.
It is a lot for me to admit this, because by my readers doing a simple math problem you can figure out my weight. But I have a feeling there are others out there, perhaps reading this, that are at my starting weight...or maybe more or less... feeling like they could never do what I have managed to do. I began my journey at 294.8 pounds. Yes. 294.8... NOT 295!! I clung to that .8 because it meant I was NOT 295... not that 295 was that much more than 294.8.
I felt tired all of the time. I actually was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea back in 2007--and I was probably 20 pounds lighter then, maybe 30. When that diagnosis came, I thought that would be what it took to get me motivated, but it didn't last. The end of 2009 brought the biggest spiritual and emotional challenge I'd faced to date... and... I medicated and soothed myself with food. I quickly got up to 294.8 by April 2010, and I felt awful about life, about myself, about everything. I had been taking medication for depression, and it had helped A LOT... but the overwhelming feeling of failure was too much to bear.
Our old church had a "biggest loser" style contest and I signed up... but I felt defeated. My extra weight made me feel a lot of pain when trying to exercise or move much at all. The situation that had depressed me was still ongoing. Even though I was a victor because of Christ, I was believing the enemy's lies. I failed. I was fat, ugly, and worthless. Yes, I said all of those things to myself in my mind. ALL of the time. I played those words over and over like a broken record. I "wore" a cloak of guilt, depression, bondage and shame. Some was related to the situation going on with a member of my family, but a lot of it was due to how I felt and looked.
I started going to a local YMCA and exercising with a man named Joe. Joe is a retired health teacher, not sure how old he is, but he is in amazing physical shape. I honestly feel in many ways I owe my life to him. I would have died at some point from living the way I was living, and in desperation I made an appointment to see him for training help. He never once made me feel bad about myself and he always found some way to encourage me. I was 282 when I saw him in June 2010. So, I had lost 12.8 pounds from my high point between April and June 2010. Joe helped me get familiar with the gym--the cardio machines and the weight machines... and later he got me comfortable with the free weights. I began my sessions with him only able to ride the bike because of pain.
I think back to how I was doing then and I'm literally in awe of this wonderful, powerful journey I've been on. Now I can do the elliptical for 30 minutes (some days 45). It is a workout for sure, but I can do it. I could barely do 3 minutes in the summer of 2010. So, the fitness goals I have achieved may not be anything like what others have achieved, but I find myself thankful and grateful for where I have come in that amount of time.
I'm going to use the next post to be more specific about some recent triumphs :)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Ch-ch-changes...
I'm feeling a bit silly I guess, hence the title.
A year ago, April 2010, we went to a homeschool convention in Cincy, OH. I was 50lbs heavier (I am officially down 50lbs since April 2010). I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but... still... I should not have been hurting as much as I was trying to walk around the convention. I remember taking ibuprofen every 6 hours as well as Vicodin. No worries, I'm not addicted... but when you are in so much pain you CRY--literally--well, what are you going to do? Even the ibuprofen and Vicodin didn't keep the pain at bay.
Fast forward to Memorial Day Weekend 2011. We went to Chicago to see my husband's younger sis and her family. I did have pain--just the nature of the beast with having so much joint damage--but I did VERY well. I walked around the Morton Arboretum for about 3 hours (with a few stops), the Kohl Children's museum for about 2 hours (but lots of sitting), Ikea, and the Lincoln Park Zoo... in the rain...
A year ago, for one, I couldn't have managed this walking. But if I HAD done it, I would be laid up the next day most of the day. This time, I could do the walking, and then still get up and go the next day. I would be sore and stiff in the evenings, but not in NEAR as much pain as before.
I am hoping someone reads this who needs encouragement, cause it sure encourages me to keep going because if I feel this much better still being about 60-70 pounds over weight (my goal is 50 more off... who cares about ideal weights?) I will feel even more awesome the more I get off.
I still have limitations, but I can honestly say I feel like I am living life for real again. I must always remember this.
A year ago, April 2010, we went to a homeschool convention in Cincy, OH. I was 50lbs heavier (I am officially down 50lbs since April 2010). I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but... still... I should not have been hurting as much as I was trying to walk around the convention. I remember taking ibuprofen every 6 hours as well as Vicodin. No worries, I'm not addicted... but when you are in so much pain you CRY--literally--well, what are you going to do? Even the ibuprofen and Vicodin didn't keep the pain at bay.
Fast forward to Memorial Day Weekend 2011. We went to Chicago to see my husband's younger sis and her family. I did have pain--just the nature of the beast with having so much joint damage--but I did VERY well. I walked around the Morton Arboretum for about 3 hours (with a few stops), the Kohl Children's museum for about 2 hours (but lots of sitting), Ikea, and the Lincoln Park Zoo... in the rain...
A year ago, for one, I couldn't have managed this walking. But if I HAD done it, I would be laid up the next day most of the day. This time, I could do the walking, and then still get up and go the next day. I would be sore and stiff in the evenings, but not in NEAR as much pain as before.
I am hoping someone reads this who needs encouragement, cause it sure encourages me to keep going because if I feel this much better still being about 60-70 pounds over weight (my goal is 50 more off... who cares about ideal weights?) I will feel even more awesome the more I get off.
I still have limitations, but I can honestly say I feel like I am living life for real again. I must always remember this.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Weight Watchin...
with weight watchers.
Yeah. I know. Weight Watchers. It feels so cliche. I resisted it for a while, but two good friends of mine joined and they are having a lot of success. The plan has changed a lot since the last time I did it. Before, the way to make it was to eat low fat/low cal. Now the plan accounts for protein, fat, fiber and carbs. Much better, in my opinion. Also, fruits are free foods. No more trying to satiate myself with sugar free jello. I can have REAL food... good food... fruit.
First week will be done Saturday... so we'll see.
Yeah. I know. Weight Watchers. It feels so cliche. I resisted it for a while, but two good friends of mine joined and they are having a lot of success. The plan has changed a lot since the last time I did it. Before, the way to make it was to eat low fat/low cal. Now the plan accounts for protein, fat, fiber and carbs. Much better, in my opinion. Also, fruits are free foods. No more trying to satiate myself with sugar free jello. I can have REAL food... good food... fruit.
First week will be done Saturday... so we'll see.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Checking in...
Well, the weight thing is pretty much the same. I hate that but it is what it is. I realized today I'm coming up on a year since I started losing, and I was hoping to be 52lbs down by now. I'm okay with where I am. I have maintaned pretty much a 45 lb loss over the last several months, and that is huge for me. I have not put it back on. So, that is definitely a victory worth celebrating.
I have also learned, through going back to my old ways at times, that low carb is going to be the ONLY way I can eat and lose weight and maintain long term. I hate that, because I love sugar. I'm actually contemplating trying the Weight Watchers "simply filling" core type plan. All fruits and veggies are "free" foods, and you eat other foods off of a list. You can still have "treats" you just count them out of your weekly points. Or, I may just do South Beach eating with all the fruits/veggies I want. That is probably pretty much the same style of eating but without paying for WW. LOL.
I have pretty much all of our homeschool curriculum bought. I'm glad we decided to bring her home before this next thing happened, or people would wonder if this is the only reason... I'll share briefly. My older DD came home one day from AWANA all emotional. I had the feeling that the small thing that happened at AWANA was not the problem--rather that something had happened at school. I was right. It's worth mentioning that she is most definitely her mother's daughter. We are sooo much alike. Well she told me she felt her friends were betraying her. :( Sounds dramatic, but it was somewhat true. A girl was bullying her on the playground and making her give up her swing even if she had just got on it. One of her close friends is now playing with the bully, so she feels abandoned. She has found several really nice girls to play with now, and the teacher has been contacted (all my ideas of how to respond to the bully were not stopping things, and I REFUSE to allow my children to be the victim of bullying). So far so good, and the one close friend has talked to her some again, so this is good.
My husband was out of town this past weekend and my older DD and I stayed up until 11:30pm just chatting. She knows now she is going to be homeschooled for 3rd grade, and she is VERY happy. She was telling me public school was not for her. I explained to her that every family needs to do what they feel God wants them to do for their kids and what they feel is right themselves as well. I told her some kids do public, private and home school. Some do two of those. Some do one all the way through. That parents decide what works best and go with it. Just because we don't feel public is working for her doesn't mean it is "bad" or not a good choice. I told her she may end up there again in high school for all I know right now. She said something then that made me want to cry--for many reasons. "Mom, I don't know why, but a lot of the kids seem unhappy, angry and mean." Oh that broke my heart. My daughter is very emotional, sensitive and empathetic. That's just her nature. "Mom, why are the kids like that?"
That is the million dollar question. I'm sure most parents care and do what is right. Kids are kids and mine are FAR from perfect. But some don't have a great life at home, and some may not have one of their parents around all the time. Now, let me say if you are a single parent, I'm not saying your kid will not fare well. If you care and are deeply involved, that makes all the difference. I'm talking about parents checking out and not caring. This can happen with a one or a two parent home. I just told her that not all kids have a nice life. Some have reasons to be sad and angry. And some are just stinkers like both of my kids can be. Perhape what bothered me the most, is in her words I had a sense that school could very well change who she is as a person. The world needs more empathetic, sensitive and kind people in it... and if she learns now that those are *weaknesses*, the world may lose one kind, caring person that it really needs.
Then I come around to the "sheltering" argument that many have. "You can't save them from everything. You shouldn't shelter your kids. They need to experience life." And I think before this last year, I was buying into the belief that by homeschooling my daughter, I was keeping her from natural things she needs to experience. That if she didn't experience school her development might be somehow stunted or in some way deficient. I no longer think she needs to go to school to be "okay". She will learn about the world plenty by being at home with us, going out to run errands, getting to know people at church and other places we frequent, when she is older seeing the news and discussing it with us... but I come back to the feeling that as her parent I NEED to be protecting her and keeping her safe. When she is older, she will have the tools to battle the world but right now she's crying out to be sheltered, to be in a safe haven.
She is so worn out we barely do anything fun in the evenings--sure she plays, but, nothing like we used to. When we homeschooled, we could go see my inlaws in the evening or my parents. School has really limited our ability to be with family because the kids are simply too tired. If I had been in a better place at the beginning of the school year, she would have come back home sometime in September. She was showing signs of struggling back then. she has gotten somewhat used to things, but I can tell she's stressed and this is not for her for now.
And, among other things, the trial my side of the family has been through has taught me to seize the day, and take advantage of whatever time I'm given. To live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I may not do it all perfect, but I'm going to try hard to do what I feel is right for us.
I have also learned, through going back to my old ways at times, that low carb is going to be the ONLY way I can eat and lose weight and maintain long term. I hate that, because I love sugar. I'm actually contemplating trying the Weight Watchers "simply filling" core type plan. All fruits and veggies are "free" foods, and you eat other foods off of a list. You can still have "treats" you just count them out of your weekly points. Or, I may just do South Beach eating with all the fruits/veggies I want. That is probably pretty much the same style of eating but without paying for WW. LOL.
I have pretty much all of our homeschool curriculum bought. I'm glad we decided to bring her home before this next thing happened, or people would wonder if this is the only reason... I'll share briefly. My older DD came home one day from AWANA all emotional. I had the feeling that the small thing that happened at AWANA was not the problem--rather that something had happened at school. I was right. It's worth mentioning that she is most definitely her mother's daughter. We are sooo much alike. Well she told me she felt her friends were betraying her. :( Sounds dramatic, but it was somewhat true. A girl was bullying her on the playground and making her give up her swing even if she had just got on it. One of her close friends is now playing with the bully, so she feels abandoned. She has found several really nice girls to play with now, and the teacher has been contacted (all my ideas of how to respond to the bully were not stopping things, and I REFUSE to allow my children to be the victim of bullying). So far so good, and the one close friend has talked to her some again, so this is good.
My husband was out of town this past weekend and my older DD and I stayed up until 11:30pm just chatting. She knows now she is going to be homeschooled for 3rd grade, and she is VERY happy. She was telling me public school was not for her. I explained to her that every family needs to do what they feel God wants them to do for their kids and what they feel is right themselves as well. I told her some kids do public, private and home school. Some do two of those. Some do one all the way through. That parents decide what works best and go with it. Just because we don't feel public is working for her doesn't mean it is "bad" or not a good choice. I told her she may end up there again in high school for all I know right now. She said something then that made me want to cry--for many reasons. "Mom, I don't know why, but a lot of the kids seem unhappy, angry and mean." Oh that broke my heart. My daughter is very emotional, sensitive and empathetic. That's just her nature. "Mom, why are the kids like that?"
That is the million dollar question. I'm sure most parents care and do what is right. Kids are kids and mine are FAR from perfect. But some don't have a great life at home, and some may not have one of their parents around all the time. Now, let me say if you are a single parent, I'm not saying your kid will not fare well. If you care and are deeply involved, that makes all the difference. I'm talking about parents checking out and not caring. This can happen with a one or a two parent home. I just told her that not all kids have a nice life. Some have reasons to be sad and angry. And some are just stinkers like both of my kids can be. Perhape what bothered me the most, is in her words I had a sense that school could very well change who she is as a person. The world needs more empathetic, sensitive and kind people in it... and if she learns now that those are *weaknesses*, the world may lose one kind, caring person that it really needs.
Then I come around to the "sheltering" argument that many have. "You can't save them from everything. You shouldn't shelter your kids. They need to experience life." And I think before this last year, I was buying into the belief that by homeschooling my daughter, I was keeping her from natural things she needs to experience. That if she didn't experience school her development might be somehow stunted or in some way deficient. I no longer think she needs to go to school to be "okay". She will learn about the world plenty by being at home with us, going out to run errands, getting to know people at church and other places we frequent, when she is older seeing the news and discussing it with us... but I come back to the feeling that as her parent I NEED to be protecting her and keeping her safe. When she is older, she will have the tools to battle the world but right now she's crying out to be sheltered, to be in a safe haven.
She is so worn out we barely do anything fun in the evenings--sure she plays, but, nothing like we used to. When we homeschooled, we could go see my inlaws in the evening or my parents. School has really limited our ability to be with family because the kids are simply too tired. If I had been in a better place at the beginning of the school year, she would have come back home sometime in September. She was showing signs of struggling back then. she has gotten somewhat used to things, but I can tell she's stressed and this is not for her for now.
And, among other things, the trial my side of the family has been through has taught me to seize the day, and take advantage of whatever time I'm given. To live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I may not do it all perfect, but I'm going to try hard to do what I feel is right for us.
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